regardez-vous, encore!

take a look...actual pics :)


Couch surfing crêperie party--me and yui! eating is tiring :)


tell me you don't agree about the doors--gorgeous, right?


yes, i had my hair braided...and it itched so i'm back to my hair on my head, but that's YANIQUE and the baby piérre...this was before the good food last night--week b4 last (i think)


Palais Royal du Louvre (or something like that...comme ça)--how AMAZING is this? (this may be the ONLY place that I've seen so far that would beat a date incluée Le Buckingham Fountain à Chicago...breathtaking really (the Louvre I mean)


i look so little! this is inside the louvre---sepia toned and happy

How I got so HIGH

sans les drogues...(w/o illegal substances)
this is a bit longish, but SO good, so worth it and SUCH a blessing
My linesister and angel-cousin, Candace Bates, sent it to my line and I think it's the kind of piece many of us have seen pieces of before in forwards, but the entire piece is so powerful and a wonderful testament to the power of faith and endurance
I'm sharing it because it meant so much to me...and like musiq said (1st album, aijuswanaseing) on the final track (title bolded):
"people have a tendency to think to themselves/that they're the only ones going through more things than anyone else/but oh i beg to beg to differ/if you would just consider the much bigger picture/cause then you would see that/most people go through the same things that you do in life/but you'll be alright"

soi figured since Somebody's gonna profit from the sharing, there's no harm
no pressure to read more than 250 words for those of you with short attention spans (lol)
sorry...i had to insert at least 1 joke

enjoy--be blessed...

Soaring Like Eagles
by Mary Whelchel

Monday April 19, 2004
Isaiah 40:31: "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles." How often we've quoted and sung this verse, but I wonder, do we really soar on wings like eagles? And what does that mean, after all?

Did you know that 32 times in scripture the eagle is used as an example of the Christian life? That's because eagles are unusual birds who are born to soar higher and faster than any other bird. And as God's eagles, we are made to soar in heavenly realms.

Eagles always build their nests in the highest possible place for three reasons:
1. As protection from their enemies
2. As a perch for surveying the territory
3. As an energy-saving launching pad.

The Word of God is to us like the nest is to the eagle. It is our
protection—our shield—from the enemy of our soul. The written Word gives you a strategic view of the world around you, shows you where to fly and where not to fly; warns you of dangers out in that big world. When your launching pad is God's eternal Word, you're really able to soar like an eagle.

Maybe you've been trying to soar from the ground up. Been flapping your wings a lot lately but going nowhere? You need a better launching pad. Isaiah begins this 40th chapter by reminding us that the Word of our God stands forever.

Jesus is the Word of God incarnate—the Word made flesh that dwelled among us. He stands forever; His love for us will last forever; nothing can separate us from His love; He will never leave us or forsake us. If you're not soaring on wings of eagles these days, check it out. The launching pad is the Word of God. No other take-off will work.

Have you been soaring lately, or have you been more like a canary, in a cage singing a little tune but not accomplishing very much? Or perhaps like a buzzard, sitting on telephone poles, watching everybody else, eating dead things. Or do you look more like a peacock, pruning your feathers?

Tuesday April 20, 2004
When baby eagle is born, her home is a very soft, secure, cozy nest, high up in a secure place. Mamma and Papa are very good parents, and they make the nest as comfortable as possible for their little one. And there the eaglet happily grows until it reaches 80% of its full body size and weight by three months.

While baby eagle is safely tucked in the nest, getting stronger and
growing bigger, Mamma and Papa soar and hover over her, showing her what eagles are meant to do. But with such a comfortable nest, baby eagle is content to be a freeloader and just let mom and dad take care of her.

But one day Mamma and Papa start behaving very strangely. They don't bring any goodies to eat, but instead they start grabbing hunks of the comfortable down in the nest and dropping it over the side. Little by little, they take away all the warm, soft lining until finally the baby eagle is left in that very uncomfortable, sticky, prickly nest. Why do they do this? Because the eaglet will never fly and soar as long as her nest is feathered—and an eagle is born to soar.

Finally, Mamma eagle does something that seems so cruel to baby eagle. She grabs her with her huge talons and she puts that baby on the edge of a precipice. This upsets baby eagle no end. She is scared to death, as she looks down below.

But Mamma and Papa pay no attention to the baby's cries for help, because they know it's time she learns to soar. She was born to soar, but she doesn't know it yet. They've got to show her what her destiny is.

Is your nest being stirred up these days? Did you ever think that maybe your heavenly Father is trying to teach you how to soar? Deuteronomy 32:11: "Like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions."

Wednesday April 21, 2004
If you've been born from above, you were born to soar like an eagle. As we saw, baby eagle is allowed to stay in her warm, high nest until she is about three months old and has developed her wings. Then Mamma and Papa start to teach that baby what her destiny is—how to soar. First they remove all the soft lining from her nest, then Mamma picks her up and puts her on a precipice, out of her warm, safe nest.

While Mamma is maneuvering baby eagle to the edge, Papa eagle begins circling overhead, watching carefully everything that is happening. Then suddenly, without warning Mamma eagle pushes the baby over the edge. This begins a free-fall and baby eagle is totally helpless. It appears that she is doomed to be dashed on the rocks below, and she is totally bewildered as to why Mamma would do this to her.

Papa, hovering overhead, never takes his eyes off of her, and with perfect timing he swoops down with incredible speed and spreads his huge wings beneath that baby eagle before it is dashed to death below. You see, an eaglet cannot fall faster than her father can fly.

Are you in a free fall? Do you feel as though you're going to be dashed against the rocks and destroyed? I want you to remember that your Heavenly Father is hovering over you, watching you every minute, and I want to absolutely assure you that your heavenly Father can fly faster than you can fall.

This process is repeated time and again until that baby eagle realizes that by spreading her wings and catching the wind current, she can soar like Mamma and Papa.

God wants you to know the joy and freedom of soaring, and once you get the gist of it, you won't ever settle for anything else. It may sometimes seem like a painful flying lesson, but you don't want to miss the joy of soaring. Remember that the eagle rides the air currents while the other birds are flapping their wings. She flies effortlessly, because she learns how to soar on the wind. And as God's eagle, you don't have to flap your wings. If you will, by faith, spread out those eagles' wings, they will carry you on God's Wind, His Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 5:24: "The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."

Thursday April 22, 2004
Eagles—the Bible tells us in several passages that we are to soar like
eagles. We're not supposed to squawk like chickens, or gobble like
turkeys, or twirp like canaries. We're supposed to soar, so we've been learning how eagles learn to soar.

It can be a painful process, as that young eagle has to be pushed off a high precipice and start a disastrous downfall. But Papa eagle is always hovering over her, and he never allows her to be dashed against the rocks below, because Papa eagle can fly faster than baby eagle can fall.

Doesn't that encourage your heart—to know that your heavenly Father will never allow you to be dashed against the stones, because He can fly faster than you can fall.

There's another eagle fact that is encouraging. Do you know what an eagle does when it is being chased by an enemy? Well, unlike any other bird, the eagle has two sets of eyelids, and one works like sunglasses. Therefore, the eagle can fly directly into the sun when a predator bird is in hot pursuit. As soon as the eagle flies into the sun, using its special sunglass eyelids, then the enemy bird is blinded by the sun and loses the eagle in the blinding light of the sun.

What a beautiful reminder that is to us of how we can escape our enemies. You are aware that you have an enemy of your soul, satan and his demons, who are dedicated to keeping you from soaring. They know you're God's eagle, but they don't want you to soar because when you soar, you are effective for Jesus. So, that enemy will come after you in various ways—through discouragement, through failure, through sin in your life, by convincing you that you'll never be able to soar. Is that where you are?

All you have to do is fly right into the Son of God, get as close to Him as you can, stay in first love with Him, and don't take your eyes off of Him. Your enemy is blinded by the righteousness of the Son of God, and when you stay close to Jesus, you can escape the temptations and the flaming arrows of the evil one.

People will disappoint you; circumstances will go sour; your dreams may crumble and your hopes may be dashed. But I can absolutely, positively guarantee you that Jesus will never fail you. Never, and if you'll fly right straight into the Son, you will have victory over your enemies, and you'll soar on wings of an eagle.

Friday April 23, 2004
Isaiah 40:31: "Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I'm glad to know that God is able to renew my strength, aren't you?

One of the most astonishing characteristics about eagles is the molting process they go through. About mid-life eagles experience this unusual chemical change in their bodies, and the time of molting begins. The eagle will seek out a secluded valley and sit for hours and days there with her head down. One by one she starts to lose her feathers. Her talons become brittle from digging in the dirt. She loses weight; she can no longer soar. Hope is dead; her strength is gone.

Suddenly she hears familiar sounds above her. Slowly she raises her head and sees that her fellow eagles are there flying in formation above her. They begin to drop food all around this lifeless eagle in the valley. When the forlorn eagle starts to eat, she gets stronger. Gradually her feathers grow and eventually she is able to fly and soar again. Her strength is renewed.

And as the eagle's strength is renewable, so is ours. They that wait on and hope in the Lord will renew their strength. And then they will mount up with wings like eagles. This is our promise from the Lord our God.

Notice that when our strength is renewed, first we mount up on wings. Then we run, and then we walk. Before we can walk and run in this everyday world, as ambassadors for Christ, we need to mount up on wings like eagles, and soar right into the Son of God. That's where we find the power and the patience and the perspective we need for walking and running in this world.

I want to encourage you that God can renew your strength so that you can soar like an eagle. No matter how hopeless it looks, God is able to renew you. And if you know some fellow Christian who is in that valley right now, maybe you can be one of those encouragers who drops some meat to them, shows them God's love and helps them to renew their strength.

I hope to see you soaring!

(Mary’s book, Soaring on High, gives more spiritual insights from the life of an eagle. You can order by calling 1-800-292-1218 or online at www.christianworkingwoman.org)

lovelovelove and peace...and flight

J'ai ecrit

When i listened to that wonderful song last night, i wrote this:
This song
Be real black for me
Even in this moment when I have to squint to write these words
Makes me feel
Good
I remember the first time I heard it
It was with you
I had never heard it before
It just sounds so good
And it feels so good
To be in this place I’m in right now of fullness and love and light that can’t be taken away
It belongs to me
The love and the light
They live in me
Manifesting themselves as the breath I breathe
The smiles I give the space of my teeth through which to shine

Hold me hold me hold me

I’m smiling just to remember the memory of hearing the song the first time
To be held in the presence of a voice and love so undeserved by me
He loved me first
Reliving that time of unrealized goodness is
Real good for me

. . . . . . . . . .
here are the lyrics--i always like seeing the words
regardez-vous (take a look)
Our time is short and precious
Your lips warm and luscious
You don’t have to wear false charms
Cause when I wrap you in my hungry arms
Be real black for me
Be real black for me

Your hair is soft and crinkly
Your body’s strong and stately
You don’t have to search and roam
Cause I got your love at home
Be real black for me
Be real black for me

In my head I’m only half together
If I lose you I’ll be ruined forever
Darling, take my hand and hold me
Hold me hold me, Hold me hold me

You know how much I need you
To have you, really feel you
You don’t have to change a thing
No one knows the love you bring
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me
Be real black for me

okay...d'accord

i admit
that was a pitiful attempt at a short blog
i'm just wordy
je suis desolée!
j'ai beaucoup des choses que je veux te racconter..i got lots to tell you!
right now it's 4:30am here
Obama won WISCONSIN...how WONDERFUL (not that i'm partial or anything...)
ok, cut that crap
I FULLY support Obama and, you know, if you do too that's cool
or if you don't that's cool too

i just wanted to share a couple things that have given me joy over the past few days...that have lifted me high and higher as I try everyday to live the life God wants for me
joy-filled and close and closer to Him and always in His will

this song, shared with me by a good lifetime friend sung by roberta flack and donny hathaway, just makes me feel good
ohhh, i found it on youtube!
enjoy....

Quelle Journée!

I've been meaning to post for days...and now je ne sais pas óu je peux commencer (i don't know where to start!)
well, i'll just tell my story from today

and i think i can do it briefly, though à la fin, je pense que tu me diras
...at the end, you'll say it was a bit...dull
I hope you'll learn your lesson :)

first i start with last night (hush up/taisez-vous!--it won't be that much longer!)
i hung out with my friend yanique most of the day yesterday--she helped me twist my hair (yay) pics to follow
and when she had to go to the grocery store (Franprix...but there are several (monoprix...ED is the best/la meilleure!) i went with her because on my new list of "things to do/que je voudrais faire (want to do)" was get a bottle of wine, to drink at leisure...
so i went to get wine and then to go home
but whilst we shopped...or while she shopped, i must have wondered so long about what I was going to cook at home (at the dorm) that she invited me back for dinner
so i ate WONDERFUL food with my friend yanique and her cute baby piérre and her wonderful sarcastic wedding photographer husband olivier* (www.olivierlalinweddings.com AND www.olivierlalin.com)
*for whom i'm gonna try to help with some small publicity work while I'm here! and if you have any ideas of wedding-related companies/industries that can link to his site, please send me suggestions--it's always good to have fresh ideas and build bigger lists

...so we ate great food (pics of empty plates to follow)...during the meal, the guy who i met on the train last thursday who i thought just looked cool and might be a decent french speaking comrade called me...ten times in a row
ladies, if they do this, RUN
men, if a woman does this, RUN

suffice it to say, i think he's crazy and probably won't be answering his calls because as the texts before and after the ten (fast succession) calls stated, "[he] wants to see me"

right. i get that, but not really--je suis desolée!

onto today's wonderfulness:
left the room late
namik was in town! (my good NYC friend)
went to library to return/renew book (très facilement! sooooo easy!) by Margaret Atwood (a handmaid's tale...la servante écarlate)
and ended up staying at the library for a couple hours just reading a great article/dossier in Jazz Magazine
i experienced joy just sitting there reading the magazine (and my dictionary simultaneously) and taking notes every other word into my journal for the words i don't know
and je suis certain that my time was SO much better spent at the library than in the class I'm no longer taking! :)
so i read jazz articles and fell in love all over again with jazz and music and maybe a little with french...but mostly just jazz
i gotta study it--anybody know any good books? (please leave comments/laissez-vous votre commentaire, s'il vous plait)
glanced through marie claire (french version) took a few pics of knitting-inspiration, and left to meet namik and terence for dinner
fast fwd (this is getting long--sorry!)
dinner was just food
(sorry...the place i intended for us to go had only meat and we don't really do that, so we went to a indian place that was half decent but nothing to speak of)
THEN we went to a jazz spot and i SANG
it was a "jam session" similar to open mics but the musicians/band isn't quite "on it" like in nyc
granted the songs are not french, but still
so he didn't know the song i wanted to sing (our love is here to stay) so i had to sing...


April in Paris...go fig
he didn't know how to transpose so it was also too high
but...i sang as well as i could
some head voice
tried to breathe well
hey, you know...better luck next time
Café Universel
and i'm going back next week...maybe even friday to see this girl (who i haven't yet determined i likeyet--hence my attendance to the free concert!)

tomorrow: swan bar for vocal jam session #2
Arin in Paris

is Paris ready.....????

last word (mot finale): i'm gonna start traveling soon--got suggestions? tell me--love love and peace

worry-pt.2

Sometimes I think it registers as easier to worry than not

Somehow it comes easier to our psyches to fill ourselves with things beyond us than to let go of these things—to release them to the creator of the gift of life we are given to LIVE (not to worry)

It’s a constant battle I think
Of mind over matter?
No
Of faith over fear

We—or at least I, have a responsibility to myself to give honor to God who has ALL the power
When I am weak he is strong
When I don’t know where to go
When I don’t know what to do
He knows

He knows my heart
He knows my intentions
He knows all my comings and my goings
He tells me where to go
I don’t always listen—I don’t always do what He would have me do, but he always makes a way for me to find a way back to Him
His mercy and His grace are my daily bread
What would I do without it?
Certainly I would perish
Perhaps not physically but spiritually, mentally, emotionally

I HAVE to give things over to Him because I am not equipped to carry their load
There’s a song by Take 6: come unto me all ye that labor, and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you, and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly of heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls, rest unto your souls, rest unto your souls, it’s easy…ooooh, for my burden is light…

I forget this ALL the time
I forget “ye though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil for thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff, they do comfort me”

(bobby mcferrin’s version—medicine man)
The lord is my Shepard I have all I need
She makes me walk in green meadows
Beside the still waters she will lead
She restores my soul
She rights my wrongs
She leads me in a path of good things
And fills my heart with songs
Even though I walk
Through a dark and dreary land
There is nothing that can shake me
She has said she won’t forsake me I ---
She sets a table before me in the presence of my fools
She anoints my head with oil and my cup overflows
Surely
Surely goodness and kindness will follow me
All the days of my life
And I will live in a house forever
Forever and ever
Glory be to our mother
And daughter
And to the holy of holies
As it was in the beginning
It now and ever shall be
World without end
Amen
-------
Our father
Which art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth
As it is in heaven
Give us this day
Our daily bread
And forgive us our debts/trespasses
As we forgive our debtors/those who trespass against us
But lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil
For thine is the kingdom
And the power
And the glory
Forever
Amen

My favorite part of His glory…these songs and prayers that are His truth…is the prayer that HIS will be done
Because in all my worrying and thinking and thinking and overthinking I trust at least that whatever does happen is HIS will.
I often forget that part too—that throughout all my days, numbered though they may be, it’s His will being carried out. And I love, trust and honor Him enough to give my life to Him, just as He gave His life for me

By the way...this may take a lil while

Je ne veux que vous croyons que je fait rien ici...as in, i don't want you to think i do absolutely nothing while i'm here

I have some pretty great conversations (certainly specific to my being here and taking time "to get away...free[ing my] mind...and fly[ing] away"-thanks ledisi) with people who i love...like my linesister natalie, who recently inspired me to throw out my fear and really get up off my a** and DO the research and DO the work to get where I want to be
I guess I spend a lot of time wishing, hoping, thinking, praying that inspiration will come (which, by the way it often does) but work is not at all a bad pursuit towards attaining happiness.
I want to share a part of our long-ish convo with you...and anyone else who may feel me on my quarter-life crisis(hness)
[and this is NOT to discount/diminish anyone else's imprint or effect on me before i got here or right now, and trust me there're a LOT of you]

(in medias res)
NAT: and first off Arin
9:36 PM it takes a LOT of guts to
quit your job
and travel abroad ALONE
NAT: some people go their whole lives without seeing an ocean
from the plane
ME: God worked it all out
NAT: its a HUGE thing
ME: yea--Thanks
NAT: plus you are HELLA young
we aren’t even 30
you got PLENTY of time to work
I had a friend who quit working at JPMC
and moved to Brazil
for 2 years
9:37 PM ME: this is how i know i'm surrounded with GOOD people
not that GOOD means you always get it
but good people who even when they don't get it say, ok
i'm with you
cause at the end of the day, that's what matters
the there-ness, you know?
I am So thankful for that
p.s. you really are pretty smart nat
i mean i know you know that
but it's pretty effing cool
9:43 PM NAT: ha
thanks Arin
trust me
i understand where you are coming from
people who don’t take risks
are the ones who don’t get it
ME: ...indeed :)
9:44 PM NAT: what are you trying to do?
ME: well, lots actually
ME: what am i trying to do?
sing
and write
NAT: Ohhh
gotcha
in the meantime?
ME: i'm working on my (same) poetry book now
editing it down
singing--i may want to go back to school for that
NAT: would you be a speech writer?
oh ok
that’s FABULOUS
ME: i'm planning on taking a look at berklee in boston when i get back
NAT: well why don’t you try to go to school abroad for singing?
why come back
9:46 PM ME: that could be cool
NAT: i would try at least-never hurts to try
try to go for an international program
sometimes the states is just too conventional
ME: i have to say i kind of suck at researching programs
you're right
not to mention too expensive
9:47 PM NAT: well now
so in the EU
but i am sure you will be more inspired there than here
a lot more to capture the moment
ME: i feel like there's often not a clear way to find out about programming
you know?
9:48 PM NAT: yeah there is
just google what you want and it will come up
i don’t care if its a string of random words, you will find something
i just googled
music
+ masters
+ international and stuff came up
ME: you actually put the + sign in there?
NAT: yeah
ME: hmm…i never tried that before
i guess it's time for me to buckle down, huh?
:)
lol
thank you nat!!!!
9:53 PM NAT: yeah
you gotta be looking for it to find it
this ain’t like finding a man
ME: Music is the only thing I can think to do
as in, going to school
committing to
giving time to
i could get a writing degree
but i feel like time would better be used to workshops and seminars for that
and time just spent reading and being self inspired
NAT: well then do it arin
you gotta be willing to put time into finding programs
9:58 PM its all available
thats the beauty of the internet
ME: hmm
i am finding some cool stuff
NAT: i have found that too much research leads to no action
Fast fwd…this is where NAT become goddess of knowledge and wonderful faith and things to come—faites-attention! (if you're still with me, that is)
NAT: don’t be so hard on yourself
trust me
the grass is always greener
i have to remember that a lot myself
that we are all super blessed
11:03 PM regardless of whether we are doing what other people want us to or not
and... sometimes its really hard to leap out on faith
for our dreams
when i quit at the bank... i told people that I was going to come out from my Master program making at least 15K more
and everyone was like... you are going to work for a nonprofit
you aren’t gonna make that kind of money
plus they didn’t think that it would be possible for me
because i was going to a school that wasn’t harvard
11:04 PM well...
today I make 25K more than I did
at the bank
didn’t pay for college
had a fantastic opportunity that landed me in ebony
and have lived in a couple of different places
but it was really hard
when i was trying to think about doing it
11:05 PM cause i couldn’t get the buy-in i wanted for it
and my own dad said the degree is what secretaries
get
but i did it anyway
and lived in a studio in LA
got paid 25K for 14 months
worked
went to school
and at the end of the day
had the BEST F***** time of my life
even though I was broke as f***
and had to ask my manager for money to eat sometimes
11:07 PM ME: i love it
11:08 PM you're such a doer
NAT: we all are
we just gotta figure out what it is
that makes us reach our tipping point
and what it is that leads us to our passion
and have faith that things will work out
for us in the end
and know that we can’t measure our lives by someone else’s
which i struggle with a lot
but we can’t do that
11:10 PM for me
i remember i told someone that
i could be married and have a 100K salary
and be cool
and this dude liked to s*** himself
11:11 PM well.. fact of the matter is
that there are people who make less than that
that have worldly goods
my sisters husband
his aunt
benz and BMW
paid
house paid off
and they work at the damn post office

(There was more, but you get the point…)
--which is, i don't mind the questions. i rather like them very much--they lead me (as i hope i sometimes do you) to get where i'm going.
lovelovepeace and respect...and patience

old and new

ms. chen, it looks about as appetizing as it was, but it was my first real meal here. i haven't been back to the place yet, but i have passed it by in hopes of better things to come (and come they have) :)


the seine...again
i say, the chgo river wins this time


street sign--because without them i haven't much an idea of where i am, or where i'm going



fun times in the city...pas loin de notre dame, à côté de la seine (not far from notre dame, next to the seine--major river in paris)
SUCH a great day


for flo-pitt: make your dreams come true (so i can come back to visit you!)

Des Images

La Seine


the mayor's (old) house...and people at the crosswalk


don't worry...i know him; he's my Bordeaux man, François (how appropriate!)
we had lunch that day, and a whole bottle of WINE (it was like...1:30pm)

by the way, i took this pic because i find there are lots of randomly placed carousels here, which makes me think somebody had the idea paris would surely be a novel place to visit...because who doesn't love a carousel?

what an amazing backdrop (to a great yawn)...even typing the word made me yawn


notre dame!

obviously chicago was built at a different time and for different purposes than Paris...but this architecture here sometimes has me feeling a little...small

Fio Maravilha, you speak the truth

1st- Merci beaucoup again for all of you who are reading me and loving me from afar.
I thrive off of your thoughts and goodness in prayers and joys for me. I will come back one day (even though several are voting I can stay until you visit--Vite-Vite!...(hurry, hurry!))

2nd-(and i'll try to keep this short and doux/sweet)--I just saw a comment on one of my most recent blogs from a good friend from preschool (shout-out to NCDC!) and in the comment she said I don't need a man i Paris, however fun it may be--this IS paris people. She went on to say the reason I don't need a man here is because Paris will end up making me love myself for having come at all.

My friend speaks truth. I know I've already spoken of the book Eat, Pray & Love, even to the degree you would think I'm still doing book publicity, but alas, I just believe in good books. And I HIGHLY suggest it to you ALL. Not just women.
There's a passage in the book when the author says something about how at least from the Italian perspective, Americans seem to LOVE working as hard as they do. That [we] don't spend much time actually pursuing happiness, or indulging in it. It has something to do with the Puritan roots, perhaps. And while I do love to succeed at doing well at what I pursue, I have to say I may not be a real authentic American, because I'm enjoying this time away from work immensely.
The amount of clarity, time, creativity, happiness I'm garnering from this trip already have been great. It's hard for me to vocalize my feelings, and I know I have yet to experience all the joy that will come from me having taken this journey--I'd even go as far as to say I should stay away from these "treacherous" men for at least a whole week...as much as I love the fair/er sex (depending on how you view it), I find my energy in their presence often zapped away...my attention often distracted and something beautiful passing me by.

The other night, I walked around after meeting a friend of my mentor for coffee (i had vin chaud, of course), in search of the American Church of Paris to find job listings, housing opps. I couldn't find it at first, but I found the words of my friend Johanes rang true. The joy of Paris lies largely in just walking around, seeing what's here, enjoying the architecture, the light of the eiffel tower, the dark of the early evening (there's hardly any sun over here), and countless other unknowns. I found myself taking pictures of doors.


Doors, guys. They're GORGEOUS--seriously. I'll post them soon, but there are so many treasures here...and they lead me to discover treasures in me. To walk around lost, not only in body, but in mind. Trying to figure out what I'm here for, what my path is and should be. TO somehow relish in this cluelessness for a sec, knowing the resolution will come in its time, and to not fear it when it does.
How often do we get to enjoy the joy of (1) not doing, and MUCH more importantly I think (2) not KNOWING...?
Take a second to understand that what you know is little to nothing, and then take a minute...or hour...or lifetime, to be thankful (to whomever you choose to thank) that you don't have to know because you are loved and kept safe by something bigger than (i know, hard to believe) even yourself.
It's an awesome thing. Embrace it. Love life.
And smile :)

My neck...my back...!

They both hurt a lil bit because of the debauchery I got myself into today.

Sadly, I admit that I went on a true, fun-loving, perfect shopping excursion in Paris today :(... :)
For those of you who know me, you know I'm a shopaholic. I can't help being myself.
I love seeing new stuff on SALE, aptly called SOLDE here in Paris.
It turns out stores only have sales twice a year here, and people don't really shop outside of the sale periods because things are SO expensive.
I got a few robes (dresses), une chemise (a shirt), un sac (a bag) (yes Lindsey, I fell prey), and...something else I'm sure. Je me souviens pas maintenant (I can't remember now), but I just tried almost everything on and I have to return some things, because I didn't feel like trying it on at the store. Alas...

Ce weekend derniere (This past weekend), I went with my Finnish friend to the markets here...similar to Eastern Market in DC, or not too unlike a flea market anywhere. I enjoyed the day other than the freezing cold weather I had to endure to get through it. I was tempted by many objects, including a cute salt and pepper shaker set (for 4 euro), a nice vase at the same stand (for 10 euro), and a pair of cute timberland boots (no comment on how much i was considering paying for them). Ils etaient trop cher! (they were toooooo expensive)

What I did get at the market--by the way, ils sont deux marches grandes (there're two big markets) et nous avons visité les deux (and we went to both)...
À la premiere marché à Montreuil, j'ai acheté: (at the 1st market at the Montreuil train station, i bought)
1-un cadeau pour mon ami Dre (attendez-Dre!)-(a gift for my friend Dre...wait and see, Dre!)
2-les stockings-(leggings)
3-une jupe grise et marron-(a [cute] gray and brown skirt)
j'ai oublié les autre choses, mais c'etait bien (i forgot what else, but it was cool)

The other market (at Clignancourt) was better, cleaner, etc.
I got some boucles d'oreilles (earrings) handmade (or so i'll say) by this nice Senegalese man...two more brass boucles (bracelets) and a pair of bottes marron! (brown boots)*

*Now I know whoever has seen my shoe collection is right now thinking: i don't BELIEVE she got another pair of shoes, but I SWEAR i have no boots like this...ils sont trés confortable (they're really comfortable)...et je les adores! (and i love them!)
Let me add here that people in Paris really aren't all that fashionable. I think New York may be holding it down a little better in that category.
I'll try to take some shots of what I see, but be assured that people DO wear jeans beaucoup de temps ici (most of the time here).
--Also, what's throwing me off (and disheartening me just a little bit) is that they don't care about their shoes as much as I think we do. Ca veut dire (that's to say) I LOVE cuir (leather), and hope most of my shoes (within reason) will be made of leather...but the prices and fashion here reflects a general attitude of ca m'enfiche! (i don't care!)...I'm hurt :(
Leather costs so MUCH..and most people really just wear (dare i say it) plastic...or at least that's all i've seen in stores

Tant pis! (too bad)

Tomorrow I start my oral french classes, after which I hope to meet up with my cute train guy from last week...more on that later :)
Bisous!

Thoughts for Paris... (1st days)

"...there seems to be a conflict for americans: we must get educated and get goods job. in the midst of this all, we must learn foreign languages. perhaps it is because of our distance from the base whence we came, but here, i see italians speaking italian and so on. why do i feel such pressure to learn, toforce my way into the language. i will/have now decided to want to learn the language as it comes. i will do as i have planned and will live here in paris learning as i go taking it all in. making friends. forcing them to go with me, to speak slowly as i venture out onto the boughs of francais....."

let's take this as some semblance of a journal entry...that doesn't really make sense, and kind of contradicts one of my more recent blogs
but i wrote it, and i wrote it w/ my blog in mind, so this is for you
charge any inconsistencies to the language gap :)