my new year

happy new year to me
as of yesterday
because i refused to accept the traditional date that was given me
i had too many things to complain about
too many stuffs that just went wrong
1-my phone was stolen last weekend
2-i'm not in or headed to paris anytime soon
3-i slept wrong on my back and there is a terrible pain from my neck to my left arm/shoulder
4-i am not feeling so rich these days (i'm trying to do away with the term broke--it seems to outweigh the blessings God has given me)
5-i had (watch out) a pending move and am kind of still not sure how i'm going to afford the rent...hope my landlord isn't reading this
6-there's more but the list would get too long...but i will mention my only ex- in life had something to do with my constant crying charades recently

and so, my new year wasn't feeling so new, until yesterday when my move was complete
i am now a lover of solitude (though i've never been too far off)
i am now where i have wanted to be for a while now
i've been dreaming of living alone for a while
i have my own kitchen
i can use my own teapot and make as much or as little tea as i want
(there is definitely something selfish about living alone)
i want to--i need to be selfish right now
there are SO many things i feel i want to accomplish and that i feel i'll be more capable of if i am in my own space as needed

so yesterday was the new beginning i needed
i have house supplies to purchase--a broom, a dustpan, i guess, and other cleaning stuff (i really don't do this whole CLEANTING thing...pray for me)

i am hopeful for this new year
i am full of ambition and possibility
and i believe--which is to say i will force this reality, though I'm sure it will come to me--that the things i want to achieve will take place for me...cause God said so

...so what did God say would happen to you this year?
i pray it all goes well