Men who race to sit down on the train (written 11/18/07)

More than a writer I’m coming to believe I’m more a thinker

...This Sunday afternoon as I was heading down to BK to meet a friend at http://www.mocada.org">Mocada I got on the 4 train.
There were a few seats to which several people rushed

Asses are indeed made to be seated

I got on and came face to face with a rather largely built man who wanted to sit down.
His ass was definitely bigger than mine.
I made my well what r u gonna do now? face (kinda like this, but without the sunlight and sunglasses) and was glad when he moved away from my (rightful, or so I felt) seat to another free seat.
I think I may have even sensed a little shame just before he moved away…or was that defeat?
I'm actually not sure but I honestly didn't care until this cute smallish girl got on at the next stop (she reminded me of my sister) and missed a few seat opps to eager unthinking men. Her face of defeat actually hurt.

I was offended for her and saddened at what really bothers me often--men carelessly taking seats that could more politely be used by women.
By no means would I ever suggest that men don't deserve a seat. Sometimes even more than women what with the potentially strenuous and dangerous work they do for cities and offices. But at LEAST extend the courtesy!
It makes me shiver to wonder what their mothers were teaching. . .

I know this could stretch into a three (or more) hour conversation about men and women and how we relate and what expectations we have of each other. And by all means, converse away (via comments.) To me it's as simple as being courteous.

I went as far (after watching the girl flounder and fail for at least 3 seats) to get her attention and offer her my seat. She smiled and declined. Previous to this offer she actually looked sad. Like she’d had one of those days and this seat thing was on the brink of taking her to tears. And I didn't want that for her because I understand “those days” and they are not easy. I worried about her like I do my own sister when she has a bad day.

A bad day coupled with too many unthoughtful men can really be depressing.

So this is a simple plea, not only to men but to everyone. Let's try to look into each others' eyes and see what we can see. Then move to your seat. If your “seat” ends up being a pole to lean on, don't take the seat that's waiting for mr. or mrs. tired ass and feet. Look around, spread love, and give up your seat.