letting go

it's an interesting concept that i "preach" on often but have no real knowledge of
but now i know
it's a painful thing
a process that starts and stops and starts over again

i'm not sure if the poet in me is tired or tried or just old and worn
but i brought back memories that weren't so sweet of me being crazy as hell
wanting something to be new that was just what it was
old
and the same as it was the last time

so i'm moving through a season of loss
as in, i'm losing the need to feel lost anymore at the hand of a man who i love
and i always will

but i'm not gonna go up to bat to play a game that has no winner

(i speak in circles)

i give up
i quit
i found myself in the dip of my own soul wanting to be lost in yours
i am finding god in myself
and i'm loving her
dearly